Numbers 22:21-33
Every once in a while, as a Christian, we have the rare gift of God using something or someone to get his point across to us. We are born with a stubborn streak that we feel entitled to. It can hurt us, hurt others, and cause us to go a way we were never supposed to go.
Verse 30 "The donkey said to Balaam, "Am I not your own donkey, which you have always ridden, to this day? Have I been in the habit of doing this to you?"
"No," Balaam said.
Then the Lord opened Balaam's eyes and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road with his sword drawn. So he bowed low and fell face down.
"The angel of the Lord asked him, 'Why have you beaten your donkey three times? I have come here to oppose you because your path is reckless before me. The donkey saw me and turned away from me these three times. If she had not turned away, I would have certainly killed you by now, but spared her."
My son had been having major attitude problems. I get it, the tween thing is a nightmare. I became an idiot to him overnight. (sigh). I was trying to get dinner going and it was already 6 at night. It would be another hour- if I was lucky. From the living room I hear a frustrated groan, followed by accusing his little brother of something or another.
"What is going on?" I demanded.
My youngest started to tell me, but the older one cut him off, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" He yelled. Wrong answer, young man.
"Is that how you talk to me?" I was very calm despite the fact I wanted to put him in a time machine and revert him back to his sweet five year old self. He slumped on the couch and told me, "You ALWAYS take HIS side. For once would it kill you to take MY side?"
I wasn't sure what this was about but something told me to just listen. "I am starving here and you haven't even MADE dinner yet!" He was clearly 'hangry.'
I sweetly smiled and told him, "Honey, I was making dinner, but I had to stop and come make sure you were okay. Every time you throw a fit, I have to stop what I am doing to work with you. It is very inefficient." My smile faded as my brain registered what I had just said.
Ugh.
Conviction.
For the last ten years, I have just wanted 'out' of this place. I hate the snow. I hate being cold. I hate being so far from the majority of my friends and family. I hate that I have to work so much and can't enjoy motherhood as much as I want to. I hate that money is so tight. I fought God on everything from dawn until dusk. No wonder my prayers weren't being answered! I was whining, griping, and arguing with him about the blessed life I already have. It is impossible to complete any task if someone is kicking and screaming.
Did you know swimming/ water rescue groups are taught to knock someone out, or let them pass out if they pose a drowning risk to the rescuer? No one can save you if you are intent on throwing a fit. They have to wait until the person is calm then complete a rescue. You will find shore when you are no longer fighting.
I will let that sink in.
So what do I do now? The Bible was very clear, sit down, be quiet, be thankful, and find contentment wherever God puts you. I confessed out loud, I love my home. I don't just, "like it." I love it. I am home. I love my family. Even the mouthy, hormonal, stinky members that are here sometimes to teach me about life, and my relationship with God.
I am thankful that I didn't need a donkey to crush my foot, knock me off, or talk to me. God just let me listen to myself. I was my own stumbling block. Now we can move on.
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