Mom has been gone for twenty months exactly. Holding "Mr. T" Tea pots in TJ Maxx and crying isn't the most glamorous thing I have done since she died, but it happened. She loved the A Team. She would say, "I pity the foo that messes with my babies." She was Italian/Hungarian and her Mr. T impression was hilarious. Christmas is rough.
I also picked out a collection of English cookies and a teas set, and a scarf that was almost a Monet design. She would have looked beautiful in it. It would have made her dark brown eyes pop.
Most days I do just fine. Other days are a gut-punch. Only those that lose a parent know this random feeling. One moment things are great, then you see her or hear someone laugh like her and suddenly, your heart is caught in your throat and you cannot breathe.
She is still so very much a part of me. Her humor got more inappropriate the more sleep-deprived she was. It was the times we would be talking and laughing late in the night that made the biggest impression on me. She would argue that when we would pray together we connected the most, but I have a slightly different view.
I can remember the sounds of the thunder storms as they ripped across the plains in Kansas that summer we lived in a trailer. Things may have been scary, but she got us through by making us laugh. She would make jokes about everything and everyone. It was the first time we were forced into a small space just the five of us.
I remember how hot the trailer was. It was a very small town. It was weird from going from a lot of friends in Palisade, Colorado to just your family very quickly. It was hard for Mom too. But having each other seemed to be enough.
She would do things to intentionally embarrass us. Like rolling down the window when the High School Cross Country team was running down the street and ducking down while letting out a long, loud whistle. My sister and I would just be trapped in the passenger seat like a deer in the head lights.
Early on, she had a standing joke with her best friend and yell, "Hey! Fred!" At random men, then, say, "Oh, you're not Fred!" It was an inside joke that went on for decades until they were caught by a man that demanded to know how they knew his name.
Her humor made her the person she was. Pain could not stop this. The nurse asked her, "What are you in for?" when she was headed in for a back surgery to correct the ruptured disks and without hesitation she said, "Tummy tuck and boob job." The nurse was flummoxed and rifled through the papers until she "got" the joke.
After she died, I was sad a lot. I would never hear her laugh again. She would never tell another clerk that asked, "Hey, do you want your milk in a bag?" to which the standard reply was, "Nope. Leave it in the carton, it makes the bag all soggy."
This year, however, the sadness have given way to a light. You see, her humor won't die. Those that lived with her, around her, and were friends with her carry that humor, and that light to others.
I know that she is a part of who I am. Which is why the guys at the "Jingle Bell Fun Run" in Spokane, WA that were dressed in running shoes, and *ahem* packages around their waist would have elicited an inappropriate whistle or, "Do you deliver those packages to single friends?" I did not say these things. Nor did I whistle. But I smiled inside because I felt her so strongly at that moment being the funny, belligerent person she was. I was relieved to know she wasn't really gone.
Then, there was the old lady at Albertsons talking on a cell phone while driving those rascal motorized carts. She wasn't watching where she was going. I was concerned as she headed toward the wine display. I watched in horror, too far to yell for her slow down, and no managers to help. Red wine crashed to the floor in a dark, red pool. I walked up and said, "Free wine tasting! Bring your own straw!" She was immediately mad at me. So I added, "Clean up on aisle wine!" I felt my eyes brighten as I knew Mom would have done the same thing.
The runs this week have been cheerful reminders of the gifts she has left us. She gave us a quick sense of humor, and the ability to laugh at bad situations. Those are the best gifts you can give to anyone.
Copyright December 16, 2014 by H. Jennings. No part of this blog may be reproduced in any way. This post and all posts on the blog are sole property of the author. Do not spin the content. Do not reword the articles. Do not swipe my goods. Do NOT translate into other languages and call it your own. In the words of Spongebob Squarepants, "Don't be a jerk... It's Christmas."
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
You Can't Say I Didn't Warn You
Treadmill runners don't know the struggle. You can get off the machine, go tinkle, then continue your workout. If you are hungry, you can grab a snack on your way out of the gym at the specified time. The biggest concern is if the handrails were wiped down recently.
I only know this because I started trail running last fall, and found myself so far flung out of my comfort zone I had NO idea what I was doing, or HOW I got talked into doing this. But I don't quit. So rather than dwell in the past, I will give future runners that want to try something new (which I can't recommend enough) a few key pieces of advise before you hit the road.
I will warn you, some of this may be T.M.I.
1. If you have had children, your bladder is no longer your friend. I have no idea why this happens, but since I am not the first runner to blog about this, I will go ahead and assume it is a real life issue. Go potty before you go running. I don't care if it's a mile, three miles, or twenty miles. Potty first 100% of the time. Also, Always made a new line of "modern" light bladder leakage pads. You should buy those. I can only wish I was joking. My first 5K, by the end I was a bit damp. Not too bad, but enough to learn to make better beverage choices before a run. (I drank a latte before I ran- this was a BAD idea). When your body is in full run mode, your muscles are focused on keeping you upright, so holding the contents of your bladder is not the current concern. So hence the reason I give you the lesson, go potty and wear back-up.
2. Your shoes are going to need to be replaced often. How often? Well, as soon as you start to feel pain when you run, usually about four to six months. My husband cries about this. My shoes cost the same amount as a good bottle of Scotch. The shoes last longer, but it is the reason I don't drink anymore. I can't afford the calories, nor the price. I would rather run.
3. You will probably not lose weight running alone. You just read that three times to make sure I was serious, didn't you? I know some celebrities like Jenny McCarthy say, "I run for 45 minutes a day and lost the weight like everyone else..." Uh, no. Not exactly. That's NOT how it works. If you aren't eating enough protein, and you are eating junk, no amount of running is going to make you lose the weight. I can't recommend group programs enough. I am doing Weight Watchers right now, because after 10 months of running 20+ miles a week, I had actually GAINED weight. Now, with a lot of help, tweaking the diet to match the calorie output, I have lost eleven pounds.
4. If you are going to run a half marathon, or a marathon get a coach. They are worth their weight in gold. They have experience, advise, and can give you the push you need to get to the next step. I plan to start with one in the Spring so next Fall's Happy Girl, my name is on the first page of results. I want to go faster and I want to have more stamina. You can't get these on your own.
5. Okay, this one, I have NOT personally had an issue with, but since I found out some runners do have this problem, you should know about it. Runners push food through the digestive system much faster than normal people. This isn't an issue with shorter distance and half marathon runners, but marathon and ultra runners have had to leave the course to find a bathroom, or worse have an accident. The intestines are full of little finger like villi that if stimulated by vigorous activity for extended periods of time push through solid waste in record time. That is great news if you suffer from IBS-C, but if you have normal or fast body functions, this is an issue, and you will want to consider personal ways to deal with it.
6. Winter runners are the beasts of the road. I joined the Winter Warriors group this last month and had my first run with them last week. I live where the air hurts to breathe. I live where it snows. It is pitch-black dark by 4 in the freaking afternoon. The group run starts later than that. I live where it does this neat "ice rain" thing. Running through that makes me feel like I am training my body to be a superhero. By the end of the first run, my lungs hurt and I had a shopping list for what I need to survive another crazy night of running. I bought a head lamp, and found a gator mask to put over my mouth to protect my beautiful, pink lungs. I left my house with gloves, yak trax, a mask, head lamp, light jacket, long sleeved shirt, tights, sweat pants, two pairs of running shoes, and lip balm. My family laughs at me. They threaten to get me a yellow vest so I look like a minion for real. I thought, "humm, a yellow vest may help me stand out in the dark..."
7. Runners come in every shape and size. I was stunned during my first race to see that the runners passing me were larger than I was. The magazines and news show perfect thin bodies crossing finish lines, but in reality, the majority of us are a size 8 or larger. There is no excuse why you can't run. Everyone that can walk, can run. You may run as slow as a turtle crossing a peanut butter road, but you can do it. Don't think you have to wait until you are a certain size to start running. You just have to start.
I hope this helps someone. If you love my blog, please share. I am trying to get enough visitors and eyes on my blog to do this full-time someday. (While other people run my coffee roasting business :)) Visit nectaroflife.com if you want to learn more about my day-job.
Copyright December 10, 2014 Attention Scrapers, Cheaters, Copiers, Thieves, and would-be jerks: this blog and every ounce of content on it belongs to me-NOT you. Don't re-word, splice, steal, or otherwise try to pass this off for something you would write. If you want to pay me for content, I can do that. If you fail to heed my polite warning, I hope your children flush large, valuable items down the toilet, or small items, I am fine with that too. Plumbing problems are the WORST, don't you think?
I only know this because I started trail running last fall, and found myself so far flung out of my comfort zone I had NO idea what I was doing, or HOW I got talked into doing this. But I don't quit. So rather than dwell in the past, I will give future runners that want to try something new (which I can't recommend enough) a few key pieces of advise before you hit the road.
I will warn you, some of this may be T.M.I.
1. If you have had children, your bladder is no longer your friend. I have no idea why this happens, but since I am not the first runner to blog about this, I will go ahead and assume it is a real life issue. Go potty before you go running. I don't care if it's a mile, three miles, or twenty miles. Potty first 100% of the time. Also, Always made a new line of "modern" light bladder leakage pads. You should buy those. I can only wish I was joking. My first 5K, by the end I was a bit damp. Not too bad, but enough to learn to make better beverage choices before a run. (I drank a latte before I ran- this was a BAD idea). When your body is in full run mode, your muscles are focused on keeping you upright, so holding the contents of your bladder is not the current concern. So hence the reason I give you the lesson, go potty and wear back-up.
2. Your shoes are going to need to be replaced often. How often? Well, as soon as you start to feel pain when you run, usually about four to six months. My husband cries about this. My shoes cost the same amount as a good bottle of Scotch. The shoes last longer, but it is the reason I don't drink anymore. I can't afford the calories, nor the price. I would rather run.
3. You will probably not lose weight running alone. You just read that three times to make sure I was serious, didn't you? I know some celebrities like Jenny McCarthy say, "I run for 45 minutes a day and lost the weight like everyone else..." Uh, no. Not exactly. That's NOT how it works. If you aren't eating enough protein, and you are eating junk, no amount of running is going to make you lose the weight. I can't recommend group programs enough. I am doing Weight Watchers right now, because after 10 months of running 20+ miles a week, I had actually GAINED weight. Now, with a lot of help, tweaking the diet to match the calorie output, I have lost eleven pounds.
4. If you are going to run a half marathon, or a marathon get a coach. They are worth their weight in gold. They have experience, advise, and can give you the push you need to get to the next step. I plan to start with one in the Spring so next Fall's Happy Girl, my name is on the first page of results. I want to go faster and I want to have more stamina. You can't get these on your own.
5. Okay, this one, I have NOT personally had an issue with, but since I found out some runners do have this problem, you should know about it. Runners push food through the digestive system much faster than normal people. This isn't an issue with shorter distance and half marathon runners, but marathon and ultra runners have had to leave the course to find a bathroom, or worse have an accident. The intestines are full of little finger like villi that if stimulated by vigorous activity for extended periods of time push through solid waste in record time. That is great news if you suffer from IBS-C, but if you have normal or fast body functions, this is an issue, and you will want to consider personal ways to deal with it.
6. Winter runners are the beasts of the road. I joined the Winter Warriors group this last month and had my first run with them last week. I live where the air hurts to breathe. I live where it snows. It is pitch-black dark by 4 in the freaking afternoon. The group run starts later than that. I live where it does this neat "ice rain" thing. Running through that makes me feel like I am training my body to be a superhero. By the end of the first run, my lungs hurt and I had a shopping list for what I need to survive another crazy night of running. I bought a head lamp, and found a gator mask to put over my mouth to protect my beautiful, pink lungs. I left my house with gloves, yak trax, a mask, head lamp, light jacket, long sleeved shirt, tights, sweat pants, two pairs of running shoes, and lip balm. My family laughs at me. They threaten to get me a yellow vest so I look like a minion for real. I thought, "humm, a yellow vest may help me stand out in the dark..."
7. Runners come in every shape and size. I was stunned during my first race to see that the runners passing me were larger than I was. The magazines and news show perfect thin bodies crossing finish lines, but in reality, the majority of us are a size 8 or larger. There is no excuse why you can't run. Everyone that can walk, can run. You may run as slow as a turtle crossing a peanut butter road, but you can do it. Don't think you have to wait until you are a certain size to start running. You just have to start.
I hope this helps someone. If you love my blog, please share. I am trying to get enough visitors and eyes on my blog to do this full-time someday. (While other people run my coffee roasting business :)) Visit nectaroflife.com if you want to learn more about my day-job.
Copyright December 10, 2014 Attention Scrapers, Cheaters, Copiers, Thieves, and would-be jerks: this blog and every ounce of content on it belongs to me-NOT you. Don't re-word, splice, steal, or otherwise try to pass this off for something you would write. If you want to pay me for content, I can do that. If you fail to heed my polite warning, I hope your children flush large, valuable items down the toilet, or small items, I am fine with that too. Plumbing problems are the WORST, don't you think?
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