I am a blabbermouth. I hate silence in excess. If I am talking with someone, I will almost always be the one to break the silence. It is a problem I have been earnestly working on this year. I think I have figured out a few things that may help other big mouths.
1. Don't Over Share.
Yup, other runners and mom's don't mind hearing the gore of birth and running injuries. In fact, we love them. We are a sick bunch. And that is A-okay IF you a) know the person well, and b) you are SURE they want to hear it. Watch facial ticks, and for the love, stop talking if they get a little green.
Likewise, DO NOT TELL birth stories to expectant first time mothers. Never. Just No. Unless they ask AND you are related by birth. Seriously. Ditto to the ones that are "trying."
Second-hand birth and breast-feeding tales are also a no-no. Not for any reason. Unless the person is RIGHT THERE and can confirm/deny the allegations. This is something I have learned the hard way and we will leave it at that. But the point is, I learned.
2. Think before you speak.
If I don't answer a question right away it isn't because I am stupid, ignoring you, or zoning out. Sometimes, I want to come up with something thoughtful, and respectful. I can come up with pointed, hurtful, backhanded zingers off the top of my head, but that doesn't mean I should. I am quiet a lot now. I have the voice of Thumper in my head, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say 'nuffen at all."
3. There are MANY times it is okay to say NOTHING
Recently, a few big, shocking things happened to my friends. I was hurting for them. I wish I could have been there to give them a big hug, and a pie. Pie makes everything better. Pie never says the wrong thing.
I really didn't know what to say. I really didn't know how much they hurt. So, I did the opposite of what I would usually do, and I said very little. I said, "I am SO sorry." Because I was. I was sorry they were hurting. I was sorry they were in pain. I was sorry they had lost so much in such a short period of time. There was nothing more to say.
I sent off a few Joyce Meyer CD's and prayed. Sometimes, it is really is knowing someone cares. I care first and foremost about my friends hearts. They should know without a doubt, they are unconditionally loved, and respected. They should also know, I will pray, even if they don't necessarily believe in God. Most of the time, I see the answers to specific prayers happen. I don't knock my friends over the head with my faith. Faith acts, and rarely uses words.
Finally, I want to address my absolute #1 PET PEEVE (besides my decorative pillows on the floor, which is a close #2) FOR THE LOVE... DO NOT EVER, EVER, EVER BE TALKING TO SOMEONE IN THE FLESH AND TEXTING SOMEONE ELSE. I cannot think of anything ruder, or more disrespectful. It happened to me this last weekend and I found that it was actually offensive. We were having a good conversation (albeit sad, both of our mother's had died in the last few years) and suddenly she pulls out her phone and started texting! WTF?!?! I walked away. I think we all should. We should teach people that it doesn't pay off to be rude. Either that, or ask if they have phone insurance then rip the phone out of their text savy hands and proceed to run over it with a car. Explain nicely that people in the flesh are more important than someone texting. Have ONE conversation at a time. Give each person your full undivided attention and in turn, you may be able to give them the love they want and need. You may even be able to find it for yourself.
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